


The Self Insert Fic Literally No One Wanted

by TheObnoxiousWindFish



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: I attempted gender neuteral reader for give me, I wrote this and now you have to look at it, Other, Things got steamy, Under the idea 5 star 40 level units kinda fall in love with you, and I am not sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 18:45:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15869541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheObnoxiousWindFish/pseuds/TheObnoxiousWindFish
Summary: No one wanted this but y'all are getting it anyway."You are my Jewel... I will not allow you to die."





	The Self Insert Fic Literally No One Wanted

It was honestly a joke. Really! You started this out as a giant joke. No one was expecting the Duke Tanas to just show up like he did, much less waltz into a fight which took far too long for you to win anyway. Even then, you simply were promoting him and giving him skills just to be funny, right?

Oliver, Duke Tanas, was a joke. A joke that's gone way, way too far.

It started out simply, he'd comment on how ugly you were in his eyes and leave it at that, but then it changed. It was simple. you started chatting in the commons area (chatting was a simple term - he was lecturing on the importance of beauty and how it is love, as a concept, and you simply couldn't find a reason to leave without being rude). After a while you ended up droning his rambling out, taking out one of your many hidden notebooks from your robes and started idly doodling. Especially since Oliver made it clear he wasn't going to leave you alone, you might as well take the momentary respite of being busy to jot down ideas or something. Oliver, to your surprise, instantly shut up upon noticing you had begun to draw. His entire pudgy form went still, and he quietly leaned in over your shoulder to watch your sketches.

Oliver leaning over your shoulder is unpleasant, by the way. His jewelry digs into your arm and the weight of the man makes him heavy on you - not to mention how he breaths is noisy, from how heavy it is to the small, huffing and snurffling sounds he makes just from inhaling and exhaling. However, he was quiet, and you're not sure which is worse - Oliver lecturing, or Oliver not respecting your personal space. You pause, looking over at the balding duke, who seems to be snapping out of a trance by the way he seems to blink and shake his head. 

"Summoner! I must see the art you have drawn." Oliver declares, and you frown as you slam the book closed, holding it to your chest. Oliver's determination grows from this, and he rests his hands on his hips as his already small eyes squint. "Summoner, you can't hide true beauty from me - I must see your wondrous artwork!"

You stop for a brief moment. It's either show him your art now, or risk Oliver causing a ruckus later because he wouldn't back off. Sighing, you open your sketchbook back up, holding it close, vainly flipping past sketches to find anything worth showing. To your surprise, Oliver simply waddles over and snatches the entire sketchbook from your arms, flipping to the beginning and scanning the pages. You protest, loudly, and attempt to reach for the book around Oliver's penguin like body, though his use of using his free arm to push you away is a bit more effective than one was aware. He continues to flip through the pages, and in your struggle to retrieve your sketchbook, the wide, joyous look in his eyes go unnoticed.

"By the gods, summoner! I had been so blind all along - your soul and talent has more beauty than I could have ever thought!" You're not sure if that's a compliment or not, but the processing of what you had just been told takes you a few moments. By then, Oliver's already run off with your sketchbook, surprisingly fast for someone of portly stature and short legs, and you then begin chasing him down the hall, yelling at him to get back here before you let the other heroes skin him.

That had been your first warning that Oliver was more trouble than he's worth.

\------

Your second warning came when you had taken the joke too far and promoted Oliver into your highest ranking. He was so surprised by the gesture you didn't actually expect him to be speechless, yet no words came forth as the portly senator stands in front of you. He admires the golden flakes that slimmer off his clothes - the sign of a unit who has achieved five stars in ranking - until they focus on you. Oliver's faster than you give him credit for, because he automatically rushes over to you can grabs your hands. You barely have time to tell him to knock it off before your gaze meets his, and he smiles, the ends of his perfectly curled mustache flicking upwards. 

"Overflowing with power... I am terrible in my beauty!" He stops for just a moment, letting go of your hands to properly pose and make sure you clearly see how beautiful he is. You're a bit confused on his recent behaviors, but he hasn't been getting in the way. Yet. He looks back at you, clasping his hands in front of himself, practically beaming at you. "Summoner, you've proven yourself to me as a soul of beauty indeed - my foggy mind doesn't push your face out with the other ugly fools here."

You don't comment, just sighing as you turn away. Oliver joins you at your side, much to your disappointment, but you're a bit annoyed with the fact he's growing on you. There's no doubt he's done terrible things, and is a horribly person with his vanity and ego on full speed at a constant, but he's familiar and friendly. Oliver's not so bad once you deflate him a little.

Speaking of which, Oliver's begun talking again, and you hadn't been paying attention.

"... and that is why beauty is above all, but you know this already. Say, Summoner, your art is impeccable! I don't know why you not show it to the world with the beauty yo have at your hands. I dare say you ought to draw me! Your art would be perfect for it." 

You raise a brow and frown heavily at Oliver, who simply shrugs. "I'll even pose for you!"

The wink that accompanies the phrase makes you several wonder if promoting him to five stars was even worth it.

\------

The third warning should have told you something was happening, but maybe you chose to ignore it to see what would happen. Oliver isn't the type to stay loyal to anyone, right? Besides, you're not worth much to him other than your art skills, apparently. So you thought. It's when you're tired from a long day of planning that the ball of beauty and ego happens by again, and it occurs to you he's finally hit his level cap. You decide to humor Oliver (you do that a lot) and look up to see what he has to say. His instant reaction is surprise, before a type of expression that reminds you of the look Soren gives Ike when he's overworked crosses his face.

"I've noticed something. Lately, you're always scowling." He purses his lips at you, almost tsking. In return, you scowl at him, proving his point. "This is not only unsightly—it is pointless. Tedious, even. By the gods, what do you think you might accomplish by worrying about matters you cannot control?"

That actually gets you to stop and think for a second. The wars you've been fighting, skill inheritance, the lack of funds for the order of heroes... All of it has been beyond your control, in some ways. You've been worrying about everything and anything, and if Oliver's taking notice? Maybe you do need a break. You sit up in your chair, lazily looking over the duke, who looks like a parent lecturing a child instead of his typical ramblings. It's almost endearing. ALMOST.

"You have but one life, and one chance to shine! We both know that you are, essentially, ordinary." 

Aaaaaaaand it's gone.

"What you spend your time on is of little consequence. Bearing that in mind, you must simply do what you can and only then consider the result. Get on with it!" Wait. Was Oliver actually trying to pull his head out his ego and... encourage you? There's a kind of pink tint on his face like when he rambles for too long and forgets to breathe, but not in the same way. He's... he's blushing? You're mostly confused as you adjust in your chair, now actively listening as Oliver seems to have lost what he's saying. Something's going on in the duke's mind, and you're a little afraid of what that means, but he's quickly back on track, with minimal stuttering. "Troubles reside in the mind, and beauty is found in a smile—that's the saying. Those who truly grasp their fates can smile with ease. Learn well, and you'd be less unpleasant to look upon."

Okay, fine. he wins this one. You put on a smile, just for him, and you're not quite sure because of his mustache but you think he might be blushing more. 

"Ho! I see that grin! It looks as though my words have resounded in your soul. I hope that you will continue to find my counsel so scintillating for many a year to come!" He declares, swiftly turning away to mutter to himself about something. You keep your smile on you face as you gather you materials, and figure these things can wait a little bit. A walk might be nice, after all, and it's not too hot outside. You call for his attention, then gesture towards the back. Oliver pauses, staring for a moment as his poor brain is trying to process what happened before he turns bright red. The Duke hesitates for a moment, only to run (you admit, he's hilarious when he runs) over to your side, graciously bowing and offering his arm. Almost like a proper little gentleman. The two of you head out for a walk, and the thought crosses you mind that maybe this wasn't as much of a joke as you thought it was.

\------

So much for warning flags, because the situation has certainly caught up with you. Oliver had shyly (Oliver? Shy? You never thought you'd see the day!) asked you to join him for dinner tonight, commenting that you looked absolutely stunning. Since that walk in the garden., you've noticed that he stares at you the same way he stares at most things he finds beautiful, and you're not sure if that's a good thing. Other heroes from Tellius have reported similarly suspicious behavior from Oliver, and while you appreciate their concern about your welfare, you knew Oliver wouldn't hurt you. After all, if you're something he finds beautiful, that can't mean anything bad, right? Certainly.

Against the warnings from your other heroes, you meet Oliver for dinner, away from the others, in a separate dining hall. For all the lavishness Oliver strives for, you're met with something a bit less ritzy than expected. high grade food, of course, but it's at a much smaller table with much simpler decor. On top of that, you did notice that Oliver offered you flowers, which happened to be the most extravagant thing in the room. You two talked for a while, though you noticed Oliver seemed... Excessively nervous. Enough so that you were actually worried enough to stand up and check him for a fever, since you couldn't tell by candlelight if he was flustered or not.

He smiles at you, though it's not his typical kind, before taking your hands himself and finally blurting out whatever's been bugging him this whole time.

"Summoner... No, [Name], I simply cannot let a wondrous, beautiful person like you dance so close yet so far. Please, even if it be my power or my money, let me take you as mine. I'm absolutely charmed by you." 

The confession feels so out of nowhere while making sense all at once and you're not sure you're able to process what just happened. Oliver. Duke Tanas Oliver. The owner of so many Languz slaves, member of the Begnion Senate, the last person on any planet you'd expect it from, just confessed his love for you.

You mind is reeling at the idea of commitment, as well as the fact this is Oliver, when he seems almost disappointed you hadn't replied. Forcing yourself to pull out of your thoughts, impulse gives you two options - Run, or kiss the man.

Considering how your legs haven't moved except to bend a bit, guess which option you're taking. 

Oliver goes a shade of red you didn't think was possible, having frozen in place from the fact he can't process it either. Once the initial shock fades, however, you find he can be rather forceful when he deems it. His arms reach around your waist, his hands grabbing the fabric of your robes as things start escalating a bit more. Not from anything you did, but Oliver slips away from the kiss for a brief moment, and you don't recall ever seeing such a possessive glint in his eyes before. It's enough to tell you to brace yourself for what's next. It doesn't come right away, however, because instead you hear his voice in your ear.

" _You are my jewel... I will not allow you to die._ "


End file.
